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Codependency
Codependency is characterized by sacrificing one’s personal
needs in order to try to meet the needs of others and is associated with
passivity and feelings of shame, low self-worth, or insecurity. The term
codependency was originally coined to describe a person’s dependence on the
addictive behaviors of a partner or family member, usually with regards to
drugs and alcohol. Today it is more broadly associated with the behaviors of
someone whose actions and thoughts revolve around another person or thing.
Signs of Codependency
Codependency does not constitute a diagnosable mental health
condition, largely because the symptoms of codependency are so broad and widely
applicable. The primary symptoms associated with codependency may be
people-pleasing behaviors and the need for the validation and approval that
comes from caring for and rescuing others. The codependent person may also have
poor boundaries, fear being alone or without an intimate partner, and deny his
or her desires and emotions.
Other characteristics of codependency may include:
·
- Perfectionism and a fear of failure
- · Sensitivity to criticism
- · Denial of personal problems
- · Excessive focus on the needs of others
- · Failure to meet personal needs
- · Discomfort with receiving attention or help from others
- · Feelings of guilt or responsibility for the suffering of others
- · Reluctance to share true thoughts or feelings for fear of displeasing others
- · Low self-esteem
- · Internalized shame and helplessness
- · Projection of competence and self-reliance
- · A need to control others
- · Self-worth based on care-taking
- · Feeling undeserving of happiness
- · Caring for and enabling someone who abuses drugs or alcohol
While the codependent person chooses to provide care for
others, he or she may also resent those people and label them as “needy.” He or
she may feel trapped in the role of caregiver, even though that role provides a
sense of importance and an escape from working on personal issues. On the other
hand, sometimes codependent people claim to enjoy the care-giving role, when in
reality, they are trying to hide the fact that they are chronically unhappy.
People with codependency may also experience clinical
depression, chronic anxiety, and/or drug or alcohol addiction. Addiction can
develop as a way to avoid difficult emotions or to feel a sense of belonging
with a partner who is addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Does this sound like you or a loved one?
Reclaim Your Power!!!
I Believe in You!
Dr. Nikki White
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