Personal Power and Power Drain

If you Want a Brighter Future You Gotta Get Up And Do Something About It!

Codependency

Codependency is characterized by sacrificing one’s personal needs in order to try to meet the needs of others and is associated with passivity and feelings of shame, low self-worth, or insecurity. The term codependency was originally coined to describe a person’s dependence on the addictive behaviors of a partner or family member, usually with regards to drugs and alcohol. Today it is more broadly associated with the behaviors of someone whose actions and thoughts revolve around another person or thing.

Signs of Codependency

Codependency does not constitute a diagnosable mental health condition, largely because the symptoms of codependency are so broad and widely applicable. The primary symptoms associated with codependency may be people-pleasing behaviors and the need for the validation and approval that comes from caring for and rescuing others. The codependent person may also have poor boundaries, fear being alone or without an intimate partner, and deny his or her desires and emotions. 

Other characteristics of codependency may include:

·       

•          Perfectionism and a fear of failure
• ·        Sensitivity to criticism
• ·        Denial of personal problems
• ·        Excessive focus on the needs of others
• ·        Failure to meet personal needs
• ·        Discomfort with receiving attention or help from others
• ·        Feelings of guilt or responsibility for the suffering of others
• ·        Reluctance to share true thoughts or feelings for fear of displeasing others
• ·        Low self-esteem
• ·        Internalized shame and helplessness
• ·        Projection of competence and self-reliance
• ·        A need to control others
• ·        Self-worth based on care-taking
• ·        Feeling undeserving of happiness
• ·        Caring for and enabling someone who abuses drugs or alcohol

While the codependent person chooses to provide care for others, he or she may also resent those people and label them as “needy.” He or she may feel trapped in the role of caregiver, even though that role provides a sense of importance and an escape from working on personal issues. On the other hand, sometimes codependent people claim to enjoy the care-giving role, when in reality, they are trying to hide the fact that they are chronically unhappy.

People with codependency may also experience clinical depression, chronic anxiety, and/or drug or alcohol addiction. Addiction can develop as a way to avoid difficult emotions or to feel a sense of belonging with a partner who is addicted to drugs or alcohol.

Does this sound like you or a loved one?

Reclaim Your Power!!!

I Believe in You!

Dr. Nikki White

Rebuilding Boundaries

If you Want a Brighter Future You Gotta Get Up And Do Something About It!

LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE!

Are you living the life that you want to live?  Are you happy with your life?  Life is too short to spend it focused on stress, drama, chaos, hurt, pain, negativity, what someone else is doing to you or has done to you.  Life is too short to give your power or control over to someone else.  Life is too short to be wasting your potential or time or money or love.  We only have a limited amount of time.  Make the best of it.  Are you making the best of your life right now?  If not, what do you need to do to make the best of it for you and your family?  What needs to change so that you are living your best life?  What do you need to change in order to show your children how to live their best life?  Some thoughts for the day.

Can you say yes and no when needed, or do forces from the inside or outside cause you to lose self-control? Is it harder for you to say yes, or is it harder to say no?

I Believe in You!

Dr. Nikki L. White

If I Do This Now, There Will Be an Effect Later

If you Want a Brighter Future You Gotta Get Up And Do Something About It!

ARE YOU THE PERSON THAT YOU WANT TO BE?

Who are you in the grand scheme of things?  What kind of person are you?  What is your character?  Are you the person that you want to be?  Are you the person that you are meant to be?  Who we are is a combination of all we have been through in life up until this present point in time.  We are a sum of our experiences but that doesn't mean that that is all we are.  Dr. Phil is fond of saying that the past tends to predict the future.  I agree with this to a certain extent.  If you are not aware of what you have been through in the past and how this affects who you are, then you are doomed to repeat certain cycles in your life over and over again.  Just because we are a sum of our past experiences doesn't mean that we have to continue playing out our negative experiences throughout our entire lives.  We can choose to be someone different, someone healthy despite our past.  Though we have been through trauma, grief, loss, abuse, unhealthy relationships, neglect, not being loved, being told that we will never amount to anything, being told we aren't worth anything or whatever else we have been through or have been told by others, doesn't mean that we have to be this for the rest of our lives.  We can choose to be different, to be happy and healthy despite our past.  Be a healthy self for you and your loved ones despite the past.  Don't let your past and stress and trauma and all what not determine the kind of person you will be in the present and the future.  Take control and be a healthy you in the present and in the future.  BE A BETTER, HEALTHIER, HAPPIER YOU!  HURRAY FOR THE NEW YOU THAT YOU ARE TO BE!  HERE'S TO THE NEW, IMPROVED YOU!

Where do you find it difficult to stand separate and differentiated from the pressures around you to be what they want you to be?

I Believe in You!

Dr. Nikki L. White

One Life Solution

If you Want a Brighter Future You Gotta Get Up And Do Something About It!

 You Always Have a Choice in Life

No matter what the situation in your life, you have a choice.  Sometimes the choice is between good and bad and sometimes it's between bad and worse, but still you have a choice in every situation.  You have a choice about what kind of parent you will be, what kind of relationship you will have, what kind of person you will be, what career you will choose, how you deal with situations that come across your path, what kind of life you will have, how successful you will be, how you live, what you believe, how you take care of yourself, how you address your health issues, how you will die (in denial, fear, dignity, gratitude, etc.).  Don't live reactively or without thinking.  Make conscious choices about everything you think, say, or do.  Situations occur that our awful and out of our control, but we can choose how we deal with that and we can choose to not let the trauma and the negative control our lives, future, destiny.  We can choose not to let our negative pasts pass down to our children or affect our relationships.  Life is about attitude and choice.  You can choose.  What will you choose?

 

I Believe in You!

 Dr. Nikki L. White